Angry voices

By krose | December 16, 2010

I have been an absent member of Taunton Stitch and Bitch for a while now. Too many business trips, not enough free Wednesdays. I am finally back at home for a while, so where did I find myself on this frigid Wednesday eve? The Sandbar of course!

Let me just say, nothing changes. The laughs were just as loud, the antics just as crazy, and the company just as awesome. The folks at the Sandbar who take care of us and make our knitting possible were given their Christmas gifts. Though next time I knit for a guy I’ll steer clear of a pattern… no matter how cute it looks on the boy in the pictures.

The ladies practiced their Angry voices tonight… there were also possessed voices and lewd and lascivious voices. Who had the best… I think that prize goes to the original, the same person who also gets the prize for best laugh and the prize for person most likely to earn her own wing of an old folks home.

The highlight of the night would have to be Aurora’s miming, though, hands down. I’m honestly not sure what story she was telling, but I can only guess. It definitely caused the most hysterical laughter of the night.

Want to take part in the side-splitting good time? Come join us!!!

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Fact or Fiction

By Wendy | November 25, 2010

Tonight we bring you the wednesday edition of Taunton SNB from the the Chateau in Norton.  For all of you who missed it tonight hope you enjoyed time with loved ones, friends and preparing for tomorrow’s festivities (All I can say is: what the hell were you thinking!).  It started as the usual wednesday night and then escalated to into  “epic” proportions.  All those in the vicinity of our table have learned in no uncertain terms that knitting is not a hobby for sweet grandmothers, but the sport of today’s women who take no prisoners when it comes to social knitting.  If you can’t hang with the knitters, get out of the kitchen…or at least the bar area!  It’s difficult to put this into the usual narrative form, but we do want to share some of tonight’s hijinx. So for your curiosity and pleasure, I present a fun quiz called fact of fiction.  Have fun and feel free to ask us about what happens when we’re let out in public out of our usual environment.  Here goes:

Fact or fiction: Kellz was the first to go to the restaurant and warn her bartender friend what he was in for and later               received a  call from him asking: What the hell happened to the sweet old ladies I imagined you to be knitting with…didn’t expect the wild bunch packin needles!

Fact or Fiction? Melissa lost 300 lbs today.

Fact or fiction: Aurora is the fastest learner on the planet (she’s making something with lace and cables and a picot edge) and wrote the karma suutra in her free time in another life.

Fact or fiction: Tonight a new association for knitters was initiated and celebrated. requirements for membership .. Extreme cursing, loud laughing, table banging and general rowdiness, all the while knitting and carrying on/keeping up with  6 different conversations at the same time. It’s very secret. We might let you join if we see symptoms of this disorder…

Fact or fiction: A trolley is not just a form of public transportation.  Furthermore, everyone should not be allowed to steer one in public places due to murderous intent!

Fact or fiction: “Oh, My wallet” “where’s my wallet?” ” It can’t have disappeared” “It’s HUGE” everyone’s looking around, under tables and in bags for a big clutch style bag/wallet.  Annette looks on the chair next to her where the alleged huge wallet is sitting. (pause)… Is this it this little thing? (embarrased grin) oh! ya there it is. (in her bag)).  This HUGE, can’t miss it wallet is the size of a check book cover. You wanna see a REAL wallet? Annette wins with a large wallet heavy enough to qualify as a brick. It’s really a weapon! I think it’s secretly used to smash the glass on red fire pulls just for fun! This little scenario  illustrated that size matters!

Fact or fiction: Someone in our little group had…correction…still has a piercing  laugh that brings dogs from surrounding neighborhoods and helps ships around the world  find their way through the fog/storms.  (I said this is fact or fiction. We got have a little fiction,right? or…)

Fact or Fiction: Someones lovely grandmother has a red,cushy beautiful red sofa perfect for knitting that is forever free of bedbugs.. not mentioning any names ..woodlinds… That will NEVER get those nasty bugs cuz she said so… So there! and besides, it won’t smell like an old lady either, so double there!!! It’s mine , all mine!

Fact or Fiction:ROTFLMAO watching Christopher Walken speaks lady gaga’s “My poker face” on an I phone

Fact or Fiction: Everything discussed in knitting always degenerates into sex talk. (ooh, if you don’t answer this question correctly, you’re going to get such a beat-down!)  This practically a give away.

Fact or Fiction: Dont’ go the the hospital. It’s full of germs! Also I’ve heard working in a hospital is not just a job, its a getaway destination from relatives.

Fact or Fiction: “You lookin at me?” “I said: Are you lookin at me?” uh-oh, why are those scary people looking at us? maybe they like our knitting or friendly group :-) …mm maybe not?  As scooby-doo would say ruh-roh! I don’t think they like us knitters.  Oh-no, you didnnn’t just start mean muggin us…I got needles and know how to use em!

Fact or Fiction: “Nobody fuKx with my Noro.

Fact or fiction: We saw someone in this group dressed as a sexy lady in a robe with rollers her in hair, a cigarette, and a beer in hand.

Fact or fiction: New bumper sticker that says ” I love my kids more than I can say, but somebody distract them. so I can get away!

Fact or Fiction: We know a published designer!

Fact or Fiction: Someone’s husband is gonna get it good when she gets home. Don’t go there people! (see fact or fiction above).  I meant take away treat (stop it!) you know a burger and fries. Sheesh Kellz was right about you guys!

Fact or Fiction: Multiple personalities can mean multiple fun!

Fact or fiction:You all wish you were here tonight. We do too!

Fact or Fiction: All kids are property destroying, noisy,manipulating little strategists who pit parents against each other and were born to remind parents about the perks of a single life. They can also be cuddly and cute when they’re not driving people crazy! Oh don’t get all defensive now. We’renot talking about your kids. We’re talking about US! We might’ve reminisced about ourselvesas kids. We were little buggers…fact or fiction… 

Well as you can see it was another night of fun randomness.  Hope everyone had fun with our little quiz or are curious enough to ask what we were upto tonight when we meet next!

HAPPY THANKGIVING TO ALL!

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And the moral of the story is

By Helene | October 2, 2010

There are some weeks that I sit not quite sure what to blog – but really wanting to share something to give those of you who didnt make it on a Wednesday night or those of you who are still thinking about coming to meet us a flavor of what happened. Then there are other days where I think to myself – oooo blog post!

First off let me say that it has become quite clear to many of us that Wednesday nights have become almost mandatory. The idea of hanging with the ladies and laughing, or being silly, or even sitting back and just absorbing everything provides us with a real break from the rest of our lives that just feeds your soul. How do I know this? Well Julz came without knitting this week – just to hang – fear not, I corrected the situation by promptly tossing my clapotis at her and telling her go ahead knit a row or two. Coming without knitting is not unusual anymore. Face it, we’ve all discovered that working on anything complicated while we make each other laugh is just a recipe for tinking and frogging when you get home….so time and time again we prove that its about the group dynamic. I’m thinking SnB is therapy…with a little knitting thrown in.

I cant remember too many of the specifics from Wednesday – and some were just too innuendo laden or outright crass to blog….we were in particularly rare form…I’m guessing we’ve gotten so good at knowing how each others minds work that it was almost funnier to let the straight lines just hang…that in and of itself seemed to keep most of us in near hysterics for the evening.

Each week several of us will have a story to share – some knitting – some not. The act of sharing is after all a bonding experience, not to mention it always makes you feel better about your own life when other people deal with crap that is either embarrassing, frustrating or just ridiculous. So in that spirit, I share with you here in cyber snb land – perhaps knowing what you are missing will serve as inspiration to get you to the Sand Bar on a Wednesday – (or make you run for the hills)

I will begin by saying that I have been working on my sherbert modified clapotis feverishly – purchasing the yarn last year at Rheinbeck, I really wanted to use it for something. It’s totally neon – I believe Melissa termed it carebear on crack colors. I modified the regular clapotis pattern to make it a little thinner because I only had the one skein and happily knit away.

Thursday night is one of my favorite TV nights – good knitting time dont you know. I got home from work on Thursday and got dinner started – freak out time – none of the electric starters on my gas stove were working. Well this isnt good – I’m all about cooking and now I had to light the burners by hand. OK, no panic, until I went to turn the fan on. Nope thats not working either…WTF?? Quick call to Jennair customer service. I spoke to a very cool woman named Leylani no not Hawaii …..from West Virginia, freakish name / accent combination but I digress. I discover that unlike for example a garbage disposal there is no reset switch. Well this blows but I’ll call the appliance repair guy in the morning and I manage to pull of this amazing chicken with chive sauce for dinner.

Friday morning I call the local appliance place and discover that there is no central internal fuse in the cooktop. They tell me it is suspect that both the starters and the downdraft are out. Yes I’ve already checked all the circuit breakers last night. Smart appliance people say – try plugging a hair dryer in the cooktop outlet and see if it works – nope it doesnt – thanks Ray’s appliance for saving me a service call by helping me figure the problem has to be electrical.

Next call to the electrician. The regular guy doesnt have any time til next week, well that does not make me happy. I’m now all about googling to find someone who will come out the same day. Yay, and success, they’ll be here this afternoon. Dont worry – I’m almost at the end…and the moral

Remember Thursday night is good knitting night and I finished my clapotis (with I kid you not 1 inch of yarn left – and it is not because I was skillful at estimating).

So proud of my accomplishment I set out to block my new creation. I pull out a towel and my iron and plug it into the kitchen outlet right next to the cooktop. Whats this???? The iron isn’t getting hot? The outlet isn’t ground fault – hmmm but the one next to it is….click…reset… The iron goes on and my brain starts to race. It couldnt be that easy could it? I plug the cooktop back in and turn the fan switch Woooossssshhhh on it goes. Try a burner next…click click then it lights. Woo freakin hoo…its all working! Quick call to the electrician to explain and manage to cancel the service appointment in time avoiding the fee. Mind you that is two avoided service calls today which I could easily translate into found money and a justified yarn purchase. All is well that ends well….and what the hell is the moral of the story you ask?

Simple – ALWAYS block your knitting!

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Magic!

By krose | September 25, 2010

It’s been a long time since we’ve blogged, but we’ve been rowdy every Wednesday at the Sand Bar. Helene and I share the blogging duties and both of us are slammed at work, so the poor blog gets neglected. If anyone else out there wants to guest post every now and then jump in!

Stitch and Bitch for me has become my weekly escape. I get to stay for about an hour and listen to the ladies gab while I knit a couple rows of my Anney, if I’m courageous, or of my strap for Tal’s quench if I’m just itching for the feel of yarn an needles. It’s a really long, beautiful cable, but it’s taking me forever!

The big topic this week was a wedding Helene attended the weekend before. She was showing off pictures of everyone all spiffed up. Her dress was beautiful and she made sure to tell us that it was a testament of true friendship that she put Tal through, and she passed with flying colors. Tal hemmed Helene’s dress not once, not twice, but three times and they are still talking

There were many knits being worked on… the Bayerische sock KAL is still going strong. I haven’t joined in yet… but I am learning a lot from the complaints the woman are making as they go along. Cheryl’s got a good amount done and it does look beautiful! I’m looking forward to being able to start it.

We also discovered that Aurora must have a Magic Vajajay… not only did her husband find her a knitting group to join, but he was so upset that she wouldn’t be able to find yarn to finish her last afgan that he was out searching for it for her. Where did this man come from?? Where can the rest of us get one??

That’s all I’ve got for now, but I’m sure I’ve missed some great knits or better stories. Come join us next week!!

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Sleepy week

By krose | August 12, 2010

Once upon a time  there was a little stitch and bitch that met at the sandbar in Taunton. One sleepy week in the summer, there was a very small group that was missing all of its friends. Where did everyone go? Come back! Cranky had her nose to the grindstone, Julz was off in the woods being crafty with things other than yarn, Tal dared to take a vacation, and Heather left us for an awesome future of adventures in Philly.

Only five stitchers remained, but they kept the spirit of the group lively with difficult projects and the interrogation of a new member! Wendy and Heléne worked on Tal’s hat, Kelly had some beautiful rainbow mittens going on teeny tiny needles and told tales of a knitting Mecca that she found in Maine, and Kat tackled the viney chart of Anney, which is terrifying to look at but not at all hard to knit!

The new member who got the interview spotlight tonight was Aurora, who found the group from the website. She taught herself to crochet with videos and then bought books and her husband decided she needed to get out and meet others who could help her out, where she’d have time for herself and have a few laughs as well — cue collective “awwww.” She has one step-daughter and three children. She was working on a beautiful baby blanket. She’s also a huge fan of True Blood, so she’ll fit right in to this quirky little bunch.

The knitters were also sad to learn that Kelly, one of the two regular waitresses was going to be leaving her post to pursue some other opportunities to do what she enjoys best – teaching dance. But, they weren’t too sad because this new development frees her up to knit with the group as a member now!

This sleepy little group looks forward to next week when the rest of the group comes back, and Aurora returns for her newcomer yarn and more laughs. Maybe the full moonish behavior of crazy people all around will go back to normal. Or maybe some folks will just pull a Steven Slater and remove themselves from the craziness – the knitters think he’s a hero! However it happens, they will go on happily ever after… until next week anyway!

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